Who am I?

I’m an Agilist, a former software engineer, a gamer, an improviser, a podcaster emeritus, and a wine lover. Learn more.

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« Sometimes I'm a Slow Learner | Main | I Am Always Learning »
Friday
Mar232018

What Am I Trying To Say?

I’m a little obsessed with Justin Timberlake and Chris Stapleton’s “Say Something” right now, in part because of this amazing video.

Here’s a snippet of the lyrics, which is what really has me thinking.

Everyone knows all about my direction
And in my heart somewhere I wanna go there
Still I don’t go there
Everybody says “say something”
Say something, say something
Then say something, say something, then say something
I don’t wanna get caught up in the rhythm of it
But I can’t help myself, no, I can’t help myself, no, no
Caught up in the middle of it
Maybe I’m looking something that I can’t have 
Everyone knows all about my transgressions
Still in my heart somewhere, there’s melody and harmony
For you and me, tonight (whoa)
I hear them call my name
Everybody says “say something”
Then say something, say something
Then say something, say something then say something
I don’t want to get caught up in the rhythm of it
Sometimes the greatest the way to say something is to say nothing at all
Sometimes the greatest the way to say something is to say nothing
I’ve written before about my extroverted tendencies. I absolutely do get caught up in the rhythm of it. Recently, I’ve been trying to be more mindful about asking myself: “Why am I talking?” (The acronym W.A.I.T. is useful for this.) What am I actually trying to say? What change am I hoping to bring about? And is my talking actually part of the problem?
That last question has been on my mind because I’ve been involving myself more and in more in discussions around inclusion, diversity, and equity. And by involving myself, I mostly mean listening. Sure, there will be times when it is useful for me to say something. Most of the time, in those spaces, I need to make room for others to talk about their experience, without arguing, without questioning, and without discounting - particularly when it is difficult for me to hear it. 
Because sometimes the greatest the way to say something is to say nothing at all.

 

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