Letting the Past Be

This morning our team had our first real conflict. That’s actually a good sign. We’re trying to bring together people from two different organizations and with very different backgrounds. If we didn’t have any conflict it would mean that we either weren’t trying hard enough to work together or that we didn’t care how we worked.

Unfortunately, I felt responsible for causing it. I’m supposed to help the team navigate conflict, and twice this week I’ve felt like I’ve been the one kicking over the beehive. The argument in our meeting this morning was unexpected, and it shook me out of the feeling of complacency and accomplishment that I’d been building up over the course of the week.

Fortunately, I was able to do two things. First, I took a few minutes in the mid-morning to go for a short walk and ground myself. That helped me put the incident in perspective and move on to other work during the day. Second, I went down and did improv tonight. We had great energy and connection, and I was so glad to be a part of it. I had one scene I was really proud of and another that was a lot of fun, so despite being cut in the first elimination of the Micetro, I had a great time. It got me completely out of the funk that had been developing. I’ll definitely be ready to go back Monday and deal more fully with the issue.

When things like this happen, they tend to linger with me. They prevent from being present in the now; my mind keeps dragging me back and won’t let me focus on what’s in front of me. Both of the things I did helped me accept that what happened happened. What I did then can’t be changed. What is important now is what I do now.